Our First Draft
Shot 1: Black Screen, Music Begins. (Glitch Mob - Between Two Points ft Swan)
Shot 2: Close up of protagonist's face, eye's opening, looks up towards sky.
Shot 3: Shot of Sky (Possible Time Lapse)
Shot 4: Close-up, Shot of face, looks down, camera slowly moves down body, down arm of the protagonist. The protagonist is holding the dead girls hand and when the camera reaches their hands a blood drop begins to flow down the arm of the dead girl. The camera follows the blood drop until it is revealed that she is lying dead on the forest floor.
Shot 5: Looks back towards sky, Close up, their is a flash to initiate the flashback.
Flashback: White noise, cannot hear characters. Mid-shot. The two characters are alive and fighting, although the viewer doesn't know what they are fighting about. She slaps him and out of rage he pushes her against a wall. She slowly slides down the wall leaving a trail of blood. The protagonist falls to his knees in disbelief.
Shot 5: Shows the man dragging the girls body, shot from behind the characters. Pans downwards from the protagonists head. You can eventually see a full shot of the girl getting dragged through the forest, you can see the tracks of her dragging feet in the forest floor.
Shot 6: Still dragging body, Birds eye view of the protagonist dragging the body.
Shot 7: Scenic shot of the tree line.
Shot 8: Drags body past tree which he accidentally rubs off on. A trickle of blood flows down the tree as he passes.
Shot 9: Point of View shot, Washing hands in water, you can see the blood flow down the river. Slowly looks up across river (out of focus). You see her body lying against a tree.
Shot 10: Carries her over his shoulder and lays her on a stack of wood and straw.
Shot 11: Shows her laying on wood. Mid-shot.
Shot 12: Shows a match begin to burn, very slow motion, extreme close up. Flicks match onto wood.
Shot 13: You see the match land, wood and bag she is in begin to burn. Close-up of wood and bag.
Shot 14: Point of View Shot. You can see his hands and the fire. He looks at various pictures of the past when they were happy and throws each one in the fire after the other.
Shot 15: Fade to Blackness
Shot 16: Scenic shots of daybreak/sunrise.
Shot 17: Shows the protagonist wakes up beside a burnt out fire.
Shot 18: Close-up of hands. Picks up ashes and lets them fall through his fingers.
Shot 19: Shot of protagonist, mid-shot.
Shot 20: Close-up. Shows his hands with blood on it.
Shot 21: Shows a glitch, sound of wind that shows time passing.
Shot 22: Shows a noose hanging off a lone tree, zoom in.
Shot 23: Shows the protagonist from the knees down. The legs are jerking and they eventually stop. Photograph falls from the top of the screen to the bottom, camera follows it. Slow motion.
Shot 24: Shows photo lying on forest floor, close-up. Shows two people walking into a house (Dead girl and another man), picture looks like it was taken without them aware of it. Shot fades to Black.
Our Second Draft
After reviewing the focus group suggestions.
Shot 1: Black Screen, Music Begins. (Glitch Mob - Between Two Points ft Swan)
Shot 2: Close up of protagonist's face, eye's opening, looks up towards sky.
Shot 3: Shot of Sky (Possible Time Lapse)
Shot 4: Close-up, Shot of face, looks down, camera slowly moves down body, down arm of the protagonist. The protagonist is holding the dead girls hand and when the camera reaches their hands a blood drop begins to flow down the arm of the dead girl. The camera follows the blood drop until it is revealed that she is lying dead on the forest floor.
Shot 5: Looks back towards sky, Close up, their is a flash to initiate the flashback.
Flashback: White noise, cannot hear characters. Mid-shot. The two characters are alive and fighting, although the viewer doesn't know what they are fighting about. She slaps him and out of rage he pushes her against a wall. She slowly slides down the wall leaving a trail of blood. The protagonist falls to his knees in disbelief.
Shot 5: Shows the man dragging the girls body, shot from behind the characters. Pans downwards from the protagonists head. You can eventually see a full shot of the girl getting dragged through the forest, you can see the tracks of her dragging feet in the forest floor.
Shot 6: Still dragging body, Birds eye view of the protagonist dragging the body.
Shot 7: Scenic shot of the tree line.
Shot 8: Drags body past tree which he accidentally rubs off on. A trickle of blood flows down the tree as he passes.
Shot 9: Point of View shot, Washing hands in water, you can see the blood flow down the river. Slowly looks up across river (out of focus). You see her body lying against a tree.
Shot 10: Brings her over to a pile of firewood and lays her on a stack of wood and straw.
Shot 11: Shows her laying on wood. Mid-shot.
Shot 12: Shows a match begin to burn, very slow motion, extreme close up. Flicks match onto wood.
Shot 13: You see the match land, wood and bag she is in begin to burn. Close-up of wood and bag.
Shot 15: Fade to Blackness
Shot 16: Scenic shots of daybreak/sunrise.
Shot 17: Shows the protagonist wakes up beside a burnt out fire.
Shot 18: Protagonist picks up ashes from the burnt out fire. POV Shot.
Shot 19: Mid shot of the side of the Protagonist kneeling. Whole body shown.
Shot 20: POV Shot. The Ashes that were in his hands have now turned to blood (Symbolism).
Shot 21: Long Shot of Protagonist in forest.
Shot 22: Over the Shoulder Shot. Protagonist looks at pictures of the girl and another man. It is revealed she was cheating. The last picture is ripped in half by the protagonist. The half with the girl on it is discarded, followed later by the half with the man.
Shot 23: Slow Pan from the last picture to the protagonists face. He has a sinister expression.
Shot 24: Scenic Shot of the Protagonist walking away. It should be clear that he has the intent to kill the man.
Our Final Draft
After reviewing further suggestions and with considerable reflection and inspiration from film.
Shot 1: Black Screen, Music Begins. (Glitch Mob - Between Two Points ft Swan)
Shot 2: Close up of protagonist's face, eye's opening, looks up towards sky.
Shot 3: Shot of Sky (Possible Time Lapse)
Shot 4: Close-up, Shot of face, looks down, camera slowly moves down body, down arm of the protagonist. The protagonist is holding the dead girls hand and when the camera reaches their hands a blood drop begins to flow down the arm of the dead girl. The camera follows the blood drop until it is revealed that she is lying dead on the forest floor.
Shot 5: Looks back towards sky, Close up, their is a flash to initiate the flashback.
Flashback: White noise, cannot hear characters. Mid-shot. The two characters are sitting on a sofa watching television. The man is tapping furiously, showing how tense he is. All of a sudden he confronts the girl waving the pictures in her face and pushes her against a wall. He walks and grabs a fire poker. He swings it as he progresses towards her and cuts her neck although the wound is far from fatal. She slides down the wall crying and attempts to hold on to his leg, however he shrugs her off. Through shadows, we see the man repeatedly striking her with the weapon. The next shot is a close up of his now blood stained face. He stands over her and then drops the poker. He walks over her and returns to watching television, with her dead body still in frame.
Shot 5: Shows the man dragging the girls body, shot from behind the characters. Pans downwards from the protagonists head. You can eventually see a full shot of the girl getting dragged through the forest, you can see the tracks of her dragging feet in the forest floor.
Shot 6: Still dragging body, Birds eye view of the protagonist dragging the body.
Shot 7: Scenic shot of the tree line.
Shot 8: Drags body past tree which he accidentally rubs off on. A trickle of blood flows down the tree as he passes.
Shot 9: Point of View shot, Washing hands in water, you can see the blood flow down the river. Slowly looks up across river (out of focus). You see her body lying against a tree.
Shot 10: Brings her over to a pile of firewood and lays her on a stack of wood and straw.
Shot 11: Shows her laying on wood. Mid-shot.
Shot 12: Shows a match begin to burn, very slow motion, extreme close up. Flicks match onto wood.
Shot 13: You see the match land, wood and bag she is in begin to burn. Close-up of wood and bag.
Shot 15: Fade to Blackness
Shot 16: Scenic shots of daybreak/sunrise.
Shot 17: Shows the protagonist wakes up beside a burnt out fire.
Shot 18: Protagonist picks up ashes from the burnt out fire. POV Shot.
Shot 19: Mid shot of the side of the Protagonist kneeling. Whole body shown.
Shot 20: POV Shot. The Ashes that were in his hands have now turned to blood (Symbolism).
Shot 21: Long Shot of Protagonist in forest.
Shot 22: Over the Shoulder Shot. Protagonist looks at pictures of the girl and another man. It is revealed she was cheating. The last picture is ripped in half by the protagonist. The half with the girl on it is discarded, followed later by the half with the man.
Shot 23: Slow Pan from the last picture to the protagonists face. He has a sinister expression.
Shot 24: Scenic Shot of the Protagonist walking away. It should be clear that he has the intent to kill the man.
Changes
After gathering inspiration from movies and opinions from people outside of our classroom we came to the conclusion that our piece lacks personality and is rather bland. For this reason we have slightly adapted our video making it more exciting while retaining the artistic/dramatic scenes and shots shown in the second draft.
Some of the changes are subtle such as extending the flashback sequence and expressions of the protagonist. The most major change is the addition of a narrative, which if done correctly should allow whoever viewing to experience how it feels to be in the main characters position, separating him from all of the brutal serial killers depicted in today's cinema. The soundtrack will still be used, but during lines of narrative will be reduced in volume.
Further Changes
After editing the initial minute of our piece we realized that that the narrative was unsuitable and rather unconvincing. Along with the disposal of the narrative we have decided to film the killing scene using a shorter but more complex technique, using several short but quick flashes of the scene as to keep the viewer interested.
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